I'm reaching a point in my life where I realize things that make me feel extremely old. I've watched my nieces grow up in front of my very eyes, and now Brittany and Kylie are set to graduate tomorrow night. The only point in my life when I've felt this old is when I took them both driving when they got their learner's permits. It really didn't dawn on me how quickly they were growing up until I thought about Graduation tomorrow night.
It brings back memories of waiting on Brittany to come home from the hospital, waiting on Kylie to come home to visit with her parents while they were stationed in so many different places...I remember when Brittany used to stay with us at a young age, and me and Kirk would wait by the front window waiting on Karla and Jeff's little Red Cavalier to round the corner and pull off of the highway. The trip to Mississippi to visit Krista, Mark, Kylie and Katie with trash bags full of Christmas gifts because we couldn't fit wrapped packages in the car. It really makes me step back and realize just how fast my life is moving, and how any time I waste worrying about small things is just time wasted that I'll never get back. I have so many great things in my life surrounding me, and my amazing nieces and nephews are hovering right at the top of that list.
I've spent a lot of time thinking about this in the last few weeks, and it's made me appreciate the family that I have that much more. I am so proud of the women that Brittany and Kylie have both become, and I know that there is so much still waiting in the future for them both to achieve.
I can still remember handing out "It's a girl" pencils in Kindergarten....For some strange reason, I always remember that I gave one to Matt Burch, but who they went to is beside the point. The important part is how excited I was to have my nieces come into my life. I can honestly say that I still share that joy and excitement as their uncle, and that I truly couldn't ask for 2 better women in my life. I'm proud of you both, and I love you.
Best of luck in the future...
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Monday, May 16, 2011
Happiness is...
What is happiness?
Happiness is a state of mind that often eludes me, but I know is constantly there for whenever I'm ready to allow it in. It's a choice that I make at the start of each and every day. I can be happy, or I can be sad. It seems so simple, yet unbelievably complex. There are so many variables involved, but still so many constants. These variables come in the form of completely random every day life occurences. The constants in the form of the things that I love enough to allow into my life on a daily basis.
What makes me happy?
I've found myself asking this question a lot lately, and there are plenty of answers. Sometimes all it takes is a simple reminder just to let me know that these things are still in my life no matter how badly things seem to be going. Just for the sake of remembering these things, I'm going to compile a list off the top of my head...
Family
Friends
Faith
Music
Analytical Thinking
Existentialism
Chance
Children
Sleeping
Driving
Living in the Present
Forgetting about the past
Charity
Helping Others
Deep Conversation
Opportunity
Ambition
Penguins
Dogs
Concerts
Text Messages
Facebook
Reading
Writing
Humor
Sports
Food
Making others smile and laugh
(Many more, but I'll stop here to save time)
Now, just for the sake of doing so, I'll make a list of all of the things that keep me from this happiness...
Depression
Anxiety
Laziness
Apathy
Fear
Regret
Time
Money
Bills
Failed Relationships
If I could choose 5 or 10 things that are currently controlling my life, most of them would come from my bottom list at the moment. The more and more I think about this, the more I realize that this is a lifestyle that I am choosing to live. I have complete control over the situation, yet I choose to focus on the negative things in my life when I have so many positive things to look at. I haven't always been this way. I used to see the good in every situation. I used to point out the positive qualities in every person while so much of society was focused on the negative.
Here is my challenge to myself...Take time out of each day to focus on the things around me that make me happy. Life seems so complex, but when it's broken down into smaller pieces, it becomes so simple. Make a choice each and every day to live a happy life. Forget about the people that don't want me in their lives for whatever reason, and instead focus on the ones who go out of their way to keep me a part of theirs. Stop dwelling on the past and live in the present. My future can be as good, or bad as I want it to be. It all depends on my everyday choices.
This is not the way I planned for this blog to go, but it's helped me to gain some perspective and think about where my focus needs to be shifted.
Thank you for reading, now I hope you can do everything in your power to challenge yourself to the same thing every day, and help others work towards finding their happiness when given the opportunity.
It was a rough day, so I felt the need to write something that may be self motivational. Sorry if you got nothing out of it :)
Happiness is a state of mind that often eludes me, but I know is constantly there for whenever I'm ready to allow it in. It's a choice that I make at the start of each and every day. I can be happy, or I can be sad. It seems so simple, yet unbelievably complex. There are so many variables involved, but still so many constants. These variables come in the form of completely random every day life occurences. The constants in the form of the things that I love enough to allow into my life on a daily basis.
What makes me happy?
I've found myself asking this question a lot lately, and there are plenty of answers. Sometimes all it takes is a simple reminder just to let me know that these things are still in my life no matter how badly things seem to be going. Just for the sake of remembering these things, I'm going to compile a list off the top of my head...
Family
Friends
Faith
Music
Analytical Thinking
Existentialism
Chance
Children
Sleeping
Driving
Living in the Present
Forgetting about the past
Charity
Helping Others
Deep Conversation
Opportunity
Ambition
Penguins
Dogs
Concerts
Text Messages
Reading
Writing
Humor
Sports
Food
Making others smile and laugh
(Many more, but I'll stop here to save time)
Now, just for the sake of doing so, I'll make a list of all of the things that keep me from this happiness...
Depression
Anxiety
Laziness
Apathy
Fear
Regret
Time
Money
Bills
Failed Relationships
If I could choose 5 or 10 things that are currently controlling my life, most of them would come from my bottom list at the moment. The more and more I think about this, the more I realize that this is a lifestyle that I am choosing to live. I have complete control over the situation, yet I choose to focus on the negative things in my life when I have so many positive things to look at. I haven't always been this way. I used to see the good in every situation. I used to point out the positive qualities in every person while so much of society was focused on the negative.
Here is my challenge to myself...Take time out of each day to focus on the things around me that make me happy. Life seems so complex, but when it's broken down into smaller pieces, it becomes so simple. Make a choice each and every day to live a happy life. Forget about the people that don't want me in their lives for whatever reason, and instead focus on the ones who go out of their way to keep me a part of theirs. Stop dwelling on the past and live in the present. My future can be as good, or bad as I want it to be. It all depends on my everyday choices.
This is not the way I planned for this blog to go, but it's helped me to gain some perspective and think about where my focus needs to be shifted.
Thank you for reading, now I hope you can do everything in your power to challenge yourself to the same thing every day, and help others work towards finding their happiness when given the opportunity.
It was a rough day, so I felt the need to write something that may be self motivational. Sorry if you got nothing out of it :)
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Glamour Kills Inspiration
I promised to keep up with this blog more, and that is what I'm attempting to do. The last couple of days I have realized that my drive to play music has all but dissappeared. My apathy has been getting the best of me lately, and I can't seem to find joy in the little things that I used to. I had a long conversation with a good friend the other night about our passions and what drives us. That's when I realized that I had put my music on the back burner lately, and that I really needed to take the time to get back to playing. Once I thought more about it, I started to wonder what made me lose the urge to play. I thought back to the last time I played a set at the Loogootee Family Restaraunt and it was a trainwreck. I was so upset with myself because I played the worst set I ever have, by far. I jokingly said afterwards that "I'll probably never play in front of people ever again." Even though that was a joke, I think subconsciously, I let myself slip into that mindset. I worried too much about how I was sounding, and not enough about why I was inspired to play music in the first place. (Hints the blog title: Glamour Kills Inspiration)
I also made a joke that night that anybody could make a request, but I probably either don't know it, or don't want to play it. I said that I was like the Indian on Joe Dirt that owns the fireworks store and only has snakes and sparklers because those are the only ones that he likes. I play the music I want to, because that's what I have to do in order to feel connected to the songs and actually feel what I am playing. I'm not playing music for other people to hear, I'm playing music because it's what I need to do to express the things I'm feeling. If you don't want to listen to that, you're not being forced to.
You're probably wondering what the point of this whole blog is, so I'll try to get to that now. The friend I was conversing with the other night was having a really hard time enjoying the thing that they love most because someone had critiqued their work and made them feel like they weren't good enough at it to continue doing it. That's when I realized that this is exactly what is happening to me with my music. I was so worried that other people might not have liked the set I played that I was having trouble playing all together. As soon as I start worrying about how I'm sounding, or what other people want to hear, I start to lose the passion to play music all together. This rings true for any given person with any given hobby that makes them happy. As soon as you start doing it for others, instead of for yourself, it loses meaning.
I read once that Andy Hull from Manchester Orchestra had a ridiculous amount of albums and EPs that he had written and just stashed away. I think the number was like 30 some finished records. He wasn't writing them for anybody else to hear, but instead was writing them for himself. This is the kind of renewed passion that I wish I could find. In the coming weeks, I'm going to begin challenging myself and learning new material as well as writing new material, because I honestly believe that the lack of artistic expression in my life is part of the reason that I've been having such a hard time with my depression lately. Playing and writing music is very therapeutic, and it used to help me get through every day. It's time to start getting back to that instead of avoiding it like I have been.
I constantly have a head full of lyrics, so I'll leave you with a few of those.
"Ambition I've found, can lead only to failure. I do not read the reviews. No, I am not singing for you." - Bright Eyes
"Tell them kids to keep coloring outside the lines, until they lose their limitations and their minds are free." - Gym Class Heroes
"One likes to believe in the freedom of music, but glittering prizes and endless compromises shatter the illusion of integrity." - Rush (One of my favorite lyrics of all time)
I also made a joke that night that anybody could make a request, but I probably either don't know it, or don't want to play it. I said that I was like the Indian on Joe Dirt that owns the fireworks store and only has snakes and sparklers because those are the only ones that he likes. I play the music I want to, because that's what I have to do in order to feel connected to the songs and actually feel what I am playing. I'm not playing music for other people to hear, I'm playing music because it's what I need to do to express the things I'm feeling. If you don't want to listen to that, you're not being forced to.
You're probably wondering what the point of this whole blog is, so I'll try to get to that now. The friend I was conversing with the other night was having a really hard time enjoying the thing that they love most because someone had critiqued their work and made them feel like they weren't good enough at it to continue doing it. That's when I realized that this is exactly what is happening to me with my music. I was so worried that other people might not have liked the set I played that I was having trouble playing all together. As soon as I start worrying about how I'm sounding, or what other people want to hear, I start to lose the passion to play music all together. This rings true for any given person with any given hobby that makes them happy. As soon as you start doing it for others, instead of for yourself, it loses meaning.
I read once that Andy Hull from Manchester Orchestra had a ridiculous amount of albums and EPs that he had written and just stashed away. I think the number was like 30 some finished records. He wasn't writing them for anybody else to hear, but instead was writing them for himself. This is the kind of renewed passion that I wish I could find. In the coming weeks, I'm going to begin challenging myself and learning new material as well as writing new material, because I honestly believe that the lack of artistic expression in my life is part of the reason that I've been having such a hard time with my depression lately. Playing and writing music is very therapeutic, and it used to help me get through every day. It's time to start getting back to that instead of avoiding it like I have been.
I constantly have a head full of lyrics, so I'll leave you with a few of those.
"Ambition I've found, can lead only to failure. I do not read the reviews. No, I am not singing for you." - Bright Eyes
"Tell them kids to keep coloring outside the lines, until they lose their limitations and their minds are free." - Gym Class Heroes
"One likes to believe in the freedom of music, but glittering prizes and endless compromises shatter the illusion of integrity." - Rush (One of my favorite lyrics of all time)
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