Last year, I waited until after the new year to make a resolution. This year I'm going to try and be a little better about it. I took a long drive tonight and listened to an Iron and Wine album. The lyrics to "Passing Afternoon" just kept repeating over and over again in my head, so I listened to it 3 or 4 times. One line in particular really made me think...a lot.
"There are things that drift away, like our endless numbered days."
It's such a simple and obvious statement, yet I find myself forgetting the idea constantly. Thinking back on the last year, I have realized that I've thrown away a huge amount of time worrying about and trying to change/fix things that are beyond my control. I've definitely progressed from where I was a year ago, but it amazes me how much contentment and apathy can overtake me without me ever even realizing it. Before I realize it, a year is gone, and in the grand scheme of things, it's essentially wasted. For part of the year, I started to really make a change in what I was doing. I started to spend less money gambling or going to bars, and started to give more money to those that need it far more than I do. After a few months of doing this, I stopped putting thought into it. I continued to do it, but I started to lose sight of the reasons that I added this to my routine in the first place. I wanted to make a positive impact on something greater than myself. I wanted to learn to balance the life that I want with the life that I need to live to help others that need it more. It all boils down to a quote from Ghandi...
"You must be the change you wish to see in the world."
My days are numbered, and I've already lived a good portion of my life that I'll never get back. It's time to be proactive and put my best foot forward. It's time to live the life that I strive to live and help change someone else's life for the better along the way. This year, I will do that. I will take better care of myself while also taking better care of others. I will take time out of each day to try and have a positive impact on someone's life that needs it. I'll stop reliving the past, and start building towards the future.
Last but not least, I'll be me, and I'll learn to be happy with myself in the process.
I. WILL. CHANGE.
Good night...
